Who Looks Over the Wall? Seriously. We Need a New 2nd Amendment.

I hate to start a blog post with profanity, but, seriously, who the fuck looks over the wall? Like, everyone knows you don’t do that. Everyone. As in, literally every person on the planet knows this. But it happened anyway. To me. Today.

So, to catch you up, here’s what happened:

I’m at work. It’s about an hour in, plus with an hour’s drive to get there (thanks to the awesome new move my company did that they didn’t ask my two cents about). So, yeah, two hours since I woke up, had a drive, did some work, and quaffed a Pepsi—no I don’t drink coffee, but do appreciate caffeine—and it’s still only 7:17 a.m.

So there I am, in need of my, erm, morning constitutional. Peristalsis doing its magic in my bowels, etc., and, like all regular and predictable processes in the universe, like sun rises and carbon half-life, and all those things in nature which can be counted on and predictable, it was time for me to drop a deuce. Continue reading Who Looks Over the Wall? Seriously. We Need a New 2nd Amendment.

Finally, a Fitness App That Works for My Fat Ass!!!!!

So I saw this fitness app on the news the other day. They had done a study on a bunch of them and were running down the top five finishers. My Fitness Pal was the winner, best of the lot. Numero uno. There were four other top-notch ones—all great for different features and reasons—but I drink a lot and the only thing shorter than my memory is my attention span. So My Fitness Pal is the one I got.

I’m going to be honest. I thought the whole thing was going to be bullshit. “Hey, give us access to all your phone data and fat data, and we’ll spam you with ads.” But, whatever. It was on the news, and my ponderous ass needs to drop some LBS, yo.

So let me tell you: this thing is fantastic! Continue reading Finally, a Fitness App That Works for My Fat Ass!!!!!